I don't want to live for my job, and don't care about company social events or other events for professionals. I want to have a good, steady career without increasing my social activity for work as I get older. I'm a total homebody. Would rather watch TV and movies and do solitary hobbies when I'm at home, find my future partner online and have the rest work itself out.
Currently I'm unemployed but I still have an odd kind of optimism that cold applying will get me a job. Either I should work on my deficiencies, or work on my strengths and not worry about the "network" approach, which can be a better pick?
In general you should work on your strengths because those are the items that will stand out. But there are minimum knowledge requirements in other areas that can hold you back. Figure out what's holding you back from interview feedback cycle.
Being good at one specific thing makes it easier to get a job vs being a little bit good at everything. But it limits you.
The social stuff can be positive or negative. Not going to the christmas party is better than going getting drunk and offending someone. I stopped going to these things because little good can come out of them and a lot of bad. Risk management. In general it's safer not to interact much with others at work or voice political or religious opinions. I think these days your non-social approach might work out better.
No, that's not possible - in the end all important decisions are still made by humans ( I'm still waiting for chatGPT 7 executive edition ) with their emotions and feelings being their decision center.
And while this is true, if someone isn't monstrously inept in social settings, the most important thing he can do is being out there to leave positive marks on other folks perception of himself/herself.
You can think that good work speak for itself, but the truth is that without leaving and breathing advocate it will be lost in translations.
Networking doesn't just mean seeking things out for your self interest, but IMO helping and serving others. Which can just be your small friend group. It can also just mean "doing your job really well" which is a big help.
Networking can mean that those in your network will actively seek you out to tell you about an opportunity. If you're actively helping others, reciprocity is somewhat natural human response
It's not really, IMO, about cold-calling a bunch of randos and asking for help. It's about building deep connections and helping others professionally. What goes around, comes around, often in positive and unexpected ways.
But at this point in life, I lost interest in finding deep connections with the majority of people I meet.
My network rarely tells me about jobs. But honestly I don't expect them to. Computing technology is very foreign to the close people in my life and I don't expect them to know much of what my professional needs are. I don't really go out of my way to help others- I am a recluse after all- unless you can count keeping them company for a while as "helping".
I hang out with friends very sparingly and don't expect them to help out with a referral. I barely know anyone working in my field and my only friend that worked in tech left mid-career and became a landlord.
Cold applying to local jobs on Craigslist from small places has historically been my most reliable source for jobs. More reliable than any recruiters, other job boards, or professional contacts (which have been 0% success with them).
Despite the low reputation CL has, it has treated me the best out of the possible sources I've tried. I'm not saying they are quality jobs, but they are jobs. I am impoverished, however and only reason I'm not homeless is savings and a free ride from the government.
You might find volunteer work a way to ease into a more social way of life. This would not have to be full-on social. Food banks and community kitchens also need people to pick up supplies, wash dishes, and sweep floors.
Having said this, I currently work in place where we do not gather too often, actually we don't meet even once a year. All comms happen over slack/gmeet, with max. 1 meeting a day. I'm not extrovert so I like it that way, but other team members can sit on huddle for most of the day.
The crux of the problem is still a people-related one- job interviews. I get interviews but no offers, failing at various steps in the process.
And past experiences appear to show that I am incapable of learning how to interview properly. Interviews are the opposite of straightforward and I have a learning deficiency with most things interview-related.
I recommend the 1964 book Games People Play, which should be available at any decent library (possibly from an inter-library transfer). If it isn't at a library near you, it has additionally been uploaded to libgen.
Most people will respect that and gain from a person who behaves that way even if they might resent staying on topic.
My biggest regret is that I didn't have a good enough skill.
By skill I meant hard, technical skills which I think appeal more to you.