It's easy for people to make assumptions about others -- pattern matching is a survival skill. When people have assumptions made about them, sometimes they become self-fulfilling prophecies.
The author of this essay, a black woman, learned from her family how to run pattern interrupts on people so she doesn't get stuck in the pattern.
[...] I was miffed, as only an
only child could be, about
sharing my mother’s time with
the neighbor girl. I must have
said something about why we had
to do this. The Vivian, as I
called my mother, fixed me with
a stare as she was slipping on
her pearl earrings and told me
that people who can do must do.
"people who can do must do" - this is a constructive philosophy for getting through life, a local version of 'a rising tide lifts all boats'.
I learned, watching my mother, that
there was a price we had to pay to
signal to gatekeepers that we were
worthy of engaging. It meant
dressing well and speaking well. It
might not work. It likely wouldn’t
work, but on the off chance that it
would, you had to try.
I'm dealing with gatekeepers at the moment, except the ones I'm trying to convince to do their job are rather inaccessible. Maybe I am learning the value of persistence.
The author of this essay, a black woman, learned from her family how to run pattern interrupts on people so she doesn't get stuck in the pattern.
"people who can do must do" - this is a constructive philosophy for getting through life, a local version of 'a rising tide lifts all boats'. I'm dealing with gatekeepers at the moment, except the ones I'm trying to convince to do their job are rather inaccessible. Maybe I am learning the value of persistence.